Some who read my blog post yesterday were under a couple of wrong impressions. The first wrong impression: that I think anyone who disagrees with someone else is a hater. As I specifically wrote yesterday, you can offer a dissenting opinion about a topic, or disagree with something someone is doing and NOT be a hater. It’s all in the approach. Also as I wrote, haters and trolls are like pornography: you know it when you see it. We all know the difference between someone engaging in a respectful dialog and someone hashing mean-spirited remarks, sometimes behind a veil of anonymity.
The second wrong impression that some had was that the suggestions I offered yesterday were real. Just so I have it on record. They were NOT real suggestions. The post was satirical. Satire is a literary device that uses humor and sarcasm to make a point, one that is usually diametrically opposed to the advice being given satirically. If you’ve read this blog for any considerable amount of time you know that 1) I’m a fan of satire, and 2) I would never in a million years makes those suggestions and mean it.
So, for the record, here are five REAL strategies I would suggest for dealing with “hatahs” (and yes, I know “hatah” is not a real word. But sometimes you just gotta git ghetto!)
- Be professional. Whatever you do, stay professional. Don’t stoop to their level. Once they get you cussin’ at them online, they’ve won. Be bigger and better than that.
- Focus on the positive. All of the examples I used yesterday of successful people dealing with haters have exponentially more supporters than detractors. Focus on the good. I think in life we all find it too easy to focus on the bad. If I get 100 praises on just 1 put down, I’ll sometimes obsess over that one negative remark. (Why didn’t he/she like me? Boo, hoo!)
- Keep your eyes on the prize. Chances are you’re doing what you’re doing because you have bigger plans in mind. Keep your eyes fixed on that. Whatever it is. Even if it’s something as big and seemingly impossible as destroying all negative stereotypes of women in media.
- Laugh it off. Laughter really is the best medicine. Learn to laugh at yourself and your situation. There’s nothing more frustrating to a hatah than the object of their hatred laughing and smiling at the situation. A great role model for this is Rebecca Black. She is the 13 year old would be pop-artist behind the song “Friday.” It has about 95 million views and nearly 1.9 million dislikes. She has been the butt of jokes and hatahs since the video (which, admittedly, is pretty terrible) premiered on YouTube in Feb. But, where most people her age (or any age for that matter) would shrivel up in a corner and want to die at having the whole world laugh at them, Rebecca instead partnered with the comedy site “Funny or Die” to make a series of parody and spoof videos, essentially poking fun at herself. That’s what you call a classy kid.
- Ignore it. I only half-heartedly put this suggestion up because in truth, unless you’re a robot or Lt. Cmdr. Data, it’s hard to ignore what are sometimes really hurtful comments. But, if you can ignore it, that is a powerful defense.
I have a sixth tip that is personal for me, but some of you might relate to it too. Put God first. When I tend to care more about what God thinks, it really doesn’t phase me what other people think. Shoot, it worked for Moses. He had Egyptians hating on him, and he even had his own peeps hating on him. And when he let the hatahs get to him, his anger lost him his ticket to the promised land. Hey, that’s a great analogy. Whether or not your believe in God, there’s a valuable lesson there: if you let the hatahs get to you, you could lose your focus, not do what you need to do, and mess up your chance to get to your own promised land.
Sage Advice from a High School Girl
The truth is, we never ever really leave high school. The drama we experienced in high school is very similar to the drama I see going on today. So, it’s only fitting that I share this fun video with you. Her name is Taylor. She’s a high school junior. We do a weekly show for teen girls called “Two Minutes with Taylor.” The show is not scripted. It’s just Taylor being Taylor. Here she gives advice about how to deal with high school drama. It’s addressed to teen girls, but it’s equally applicable to us today.
What advice can you add to this list for dealing with the hatahs?